1. Q: Kathryn, could my soulmate be married to someone else?
A. No! The shocking truth is that your soulmate is not taken. You get better than that. But when you’re single, you have a place in you that wants love that is vulnerable. And it’s easy to get excited and settle for someone who’s not available. (This truth is only shocking if you are sure your soulmate is someone married or in a relationship, and you’re waiting for them.)
Dancing around with someone taken is beneath you. You’re settling. And you’re keeping yourself unavailable for true love. Read on to find out more about that particular defense mechanism.
But bottom line, you deserve more than someone who is not completely available to you. The Universe would not dangle someone in front of you who cannot easily move forward into a full-on relationship.
2. Q: Kathryn, I’ve heard you say that my bad pattern is a defense and keeps love away. You were referring to my work. How can my demanding job be a bad pattern?!
A: The shocking truth is that things you may deem normal in your life are often barriers to love. And you have adopted them intentionally.
Yep, here are some examples including yours.
• Picking someone unavailable (like in Shocking Truth #1) keeps YOU unavailable . . . and safe
• Many folks I’ve worked with are workaholics, too “busy” to welcome in love. Work is very reliable, and yet balance is essential to a healthy life. Those who overwork have issues, including the fact that it keeps them unavailable for love . . . and safe
• Having an unrequited love or an unspoken crush on someone might be somewhat fun, but it keeps love away from you. As long as you don’t dissolve the attachment, get an answer and move on, you’re unavailable . . . and safe. (And yet the fantasy pales in comparison to the real deal of finding the love of your life — who is wholly available to you and romances you in real life)
• Fostering a cynical attitude about love is a defense mechanism. If you appear to be jaded about love, you can’t get crushed. Unavailable . . . and safe
The problem with these defense mechanisms — designed to keep you safe — is that they keep love out. You’re unavailable until you can drop these patterns.
3. Q: Kathryn, can I really find love at any moment? It feels so very far away.
A: Shocking Truth #3 is that yes, no matter how despairing you are, love can still be right around the corner and creep up on you any moment.
It just takes some slight adjustments to have love rush into your life. You can only hold love at bay for so long, and then, it happens. Those who do my work have love show up in the most magical, unpredictable ways. And in one instant, life is changed forever.